Chapter 4: Listening can be harmful

We often hear that we should "let it all out" or to express our emotions, especially after a traumatic event, instead of storing the feelings inside and waiting for a volcano to erupt later. I am an advocate for expressing, but sometimes I am uncomfortable with listening about traumatic events. I have long felt that I am either too-good-of-a-listener or just extra sensitive. I no longer feel this way since Chapter 4 clarifies my dilemma for me by explaining that "often, however, people who listen to others' trauma...become traumatized themselves." I find that this ability to be traumatized from listening is associated with empathic listening, in which the listener is associating and interpreting message as if in the speaker's shoes. On a more positive note, I am reassured that I can provide social support by exhibiting these behaviors: (1) using silence as response and not interrupting, (2) asking probing questions, (3) providing verbal encouragement, (4) restating the other's message, and (5) seeking clarification. Currently, I try to avoid being traumatized by avoiding certain conversations. Though sometimes you just have to take the risk of being traumatized because your loved ones want to share with you.