This is my first online class. I took Comm 101 and 149 before. It is exciting to learn about interpersonal and organizational this summer. The rabbit tail tale is inspired by the Beatrix Potter biography movie I watched recently.
The concept of disconfirming message resonates with me. I know how it feels to be disconfirmed, and unfortunately I realize that I have disconfirm others before as well. This is when you convey negative evaluation of your partner and the relationship by being indifference through silence, absence (mindless) response. Interruption and disruption of what partner is saying occurs. There are three ways of disconfirming: indifference, imperviousness, and disqualification. Imperviousness is when you are being inattentive to other's thoughts and feelings, as if the person did not matter. Things said would include, "Yeah, uh, what?," with blank gaze and lack of involvement. Disqualification is when there is a monologue with one person speaking, being unaware of the other person. The relevance of this is that disconfirming message also breaks down the other person's whole being: value of thought, feeling, importance, and self-worth. It is not just about disregarding the spoken word. This resonates with me because disconfirmation happens to me almost every time when I speak to my in-law and/or their relative. I get interrupted and brushed aside while being in mid-sentence, and I am frankly tired of this treatment.
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Rabbit Tail, you noted that in interactions with your in-laws you experience disconfirming messages. How can recipients of such messages respond in productive ways?
To be productive, I suggest being confident and assertive and try to bring the conversation and acknowledgement back. I try to stay true to myself while not allowing others to disregard or mistreat me. For example, I would say, "Oh, as I was saying earlier..." or "To finish the story that I started..." or "Oh, what did you think about what I just described to you?" It doesn't always work because sometimes I get interrupted the second time in a row.
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